Having just seen TINA, The Tina Turner Musical, I can honestly say that I came away feeling like I can relate to her life in so many ways. When one has been the victim of abuse at the hands of someone you once loved and trusted…and then you manage to leave the relationship safely…it is truly a “sisterhood” that few others can fully understand.
The musical itself is nothing short of mesmerizing as we are taken on a journey through Tina’s life and her 40+ year career. The first half of the musical chronicles the beginning…from a little girl who routinely out-sang everyone in church to the early years with her boyfriend, lead singer and eventual husband Ike Turner and the abuse he inflicted on her for over a decade. The last half of the musical focuses on Tina’s solo career after getting the courage to leave the abusive relationship.
The music is, of course, AMAZING and the story engaging. There were so many moments that rang true for me, but the one thing that stood out the most was a conversation Tina had with her manager Rhonda. At one point, they are alone together and the discussion is about the abuse at the hands of Ike Turner, Tina’s then-husband. In short, Rhonda begs Tina to leave Ike and Tina’s response is that she stays in the relationship “because of her children”. However, Rhonda responds by saying that is it “BECAUSE of Tina’s children that she should leave.”
Before I got out of my own abusive relationship, I had to go through a similar epiphany. When it became clear my own daughter was also being abused, it was the beginning of the end of my marriage. There were other factors that led to leaving, but it was my daughter that I fought for.
On this Mother’s Day, I thank God for my daughter and for getting us both to a safer place away from the immediate abuse. There is still abuse happening in different forms…especially stalking, damage to my property and outright lies being told about us, but my daughter and I rejoice in the fact that we have each other and we are no longer living with the abuser. As a mother, I cannot imagine life without her.
To all those who understand what I am talking about…who have been there…or are just beginning to realize the truth…I cannot tell you what to do. To be sure, no one has the right to tell you that you should “just leave” because EVERYONE’S situation is different. However, I can say that your child(ren) should be the top priority as you think about your options.
Whatever your current situation is, I pray you have a meaningful Mother’s Day this year!
Jill 😊
